Naive London Girl

Quivering Anus & Cum Voice

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 09:26:00 +0000

There were two things that I noticed while I was masturbating this morning that I had never noticed before:

1. When I use the vibrator on my clit, my anus quivers. It feels very pleasurable. I wonder if it mean my anus wants some attention while I'm masturbating? Also I wonder if this is new since I popped my anal cherry. (Yes, I know, I still have to blog about that)

2. When I cum, I cum in a really girly voice. This surprised me, because in the past I have described my "cum voice" as a low-guttural dying cow type sound. Maybe my cum voice has evolved?

Anyhow, I feel pleased to have discovered something new about myself before 9AM!

Photo above courtesy of MyBlackSluts.com

Zoe Margolis, the Evening Standard and a Lesson in Journalism

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:42:00 +0000

The London Evening Standard asked me to write a response to their piece about Zoe Margolis aka Girl with a one Track Mind. Specifically, they wanted me to address "Margolis's comparisons of dating in London and New York and meeting people on the internet compared with in bars and clubs, and on the phenomenon of 'sex blogging'." And they wanted this in 150 words.

So here's what I wrote:

Response to Evening Standard RE: Zoe Margolis

I tend to think that Zoe Margolis has it wrong. (FYI she’s blocked me on Twitter and I responded in kind.) The best thing that could have happened to her career is her being outted. How many books has she sold since then?

She’s foolish to think that she could have remained anonymous for so long. Even Belle De Jour came out. Soon enough that lame-o sex-blogger at Oxbridge will be outted too (and most likely feted with six-figure book deal.)

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t be wildly successful AND anonymous. The public won’t let you. The taxman won’t let you. The men in your life that you date and have sex with won’t let you. There is always someone out there ready to tell your secret.

Yes, it’s unfortunate that Ms. Margolis’ secret was disclosed by the Times, but would it have been better if it had been an ex-boyfriend?

Don’t get me wrong, anonymity is great. I like it. I use it for my own sex blogging, but I’m not so naive to think that my secret will remain safe forever. I am, at least smart enough to have a contingency plan—something that Ms. Margolis didn’t appear to have.

RE: Zoe Margolis in NYC

Ms. Margolis said regarding her stint in New York “I think here people find me a little too brash and honest.” What part of New York was she in? Surely, not New York City? Perhaps she was in Poughkeepsie or Rochester or somewhere conservative in New York State?

The last shocking thing that happened in New York City was US Airways Flight 1549 miraculously landing in the Hudson River. One thing that is remarkable about New York City is that nothing is shocking. New Yorkers are unshakable. Besides the Yankees and Knicks doing well in the playoffs nothing gets New Yorkers excited. Not the weather, not the bright lights, not even sex and certainly and not Ms. Margolis.

New Yorkers are blasé, laid back, too cool for school and have seen it all. My point is: You cannot be “too brash” in NYC. In my estimation Ms. Margolis, at best, experienced the life of a glorified tourist.

RE: Dating in NYC vs Dating in London

Typical night out in New York: You go to bar, you meet a few guys, someone buys you a drink, you give them your number then a few days later you go out on a date. If the date goes well, then you have sex with him. Then you never hear from him again.

Typical night out in London: You go to a pub, you get incredibly drunk, you end up pulling some guy at the pub. You go back to his place and have sex with him. You don’t exchange numbers. Then you never hear from him again.

Of course that is an over-simplification but it’s the same results, through different methods.

RE: the NY / London Man comparison:
Men here are different than in NYC.

In New York people are outwardly freaky. They wear their neuroses on their sleeve. Many times you can tell that a guy is a weirdo or freak after the first few sentences.

Here in London it's the reverse. Men seem to be perfectly composed and then when you get them into bed you find out they are these sexual freaks... all those years of boarding school and keeping a stiff upper lip is spilling out onto the duvet! Do you know how many men here in london have asked to wear my knickers? That never happened in New York!

RE: Dating on the Internet
I have talked about dating on the internet ad nauseam on my blog and podcast. I’m almost bored of talking about it now. The internet is OK for meeting guys to date. It depends on which sites you go to. I once joined J-Date, the Jewish Dating site even though I’m black (and not Jewish). It was a very interesting experience and very different than Match.com or InterracialCupid.com. On J-Date lots of guys were interested in me being their “Bit on the side” but I was never Kosher enough to take home to mum and dad.

On the internet you get a higher percentage of weirdos to vet which can be quite discouraging. There are some really great guys out there, but you have to be prepared to take the time to look.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for casual sex the internet is perfect. You can cut to the chase. I’ve used the NSA (no strings attached) section of Craig’s List. Yes, I’ve had some kinky and fun times. One thing that is worrying is that there seem to be high percentage of guys with STDs on Craig’s List who lie about being disease free. See my blog entry: Herpes and the Craig’s List Liars

RE: The Phenomenon of Sex Blogging
I blog because I like writing. I feel that I’m a natural storyteller and I love communicating with people. I love it when my blog posts makes someone laugh.

It’s not necessarily that sex blogging comes easily or naturally for me. It’s just that sex is a topic that I like. I’m constantly interested in reading and writing about. It wasn’t until this year that the blog really started turning a profit. The money is great, but really it’s a labour of love.

I think there are lots of sex blogs out there, but few that are of substantial quality. Anyone can start blogging about sex, but few people are brave enough or honest enough to do it well.

I think in the back of every sex blogger’s mind they believe that they’re the next Belle de Jour. She was really one of a kind, though. In reality any sex blogger would be LUCKY to achieve the sort of infamy that Zoe Margolis has achieved. That’s why her “oh poor me I’ve been outted” stance rings false. I just want to say, “Oh, come on girl! That’s the best thing that’s happened to your career!”

And here's what they printed:

Botched Blow Job

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:29:00 +0000

Last week, after a day of interviews I came home and found Gary, my friend and sometimes fuck buddy in the guest room.

I knocked on the door. He told me to come in. He was stretched out on the bed with the laptop on his lap. He's one of my few friends who still insists on using a PC. All my other pals have switched to Mac. Why is Gary holding out?

His jeans were suspiciously unzipped and his hand was resting comfortably on his balls. I thought to myself, "He really has made himself comfortable here."

I sat on the bed next to him and sneaked a furtive glance at his laptop screen. I assumed he was watching porn, but actually he was watching illegally downloaded copies of Stargate Atlantis.

I look down at his hand that is resting on his crotch. He sees me looking down. Before I can say anything he declares, "I'm bored!"

"Are you masturbating to Stargate Atlantis?"
"No," he answers firmly, "this is Stargate Universe."
"Same difference!"

There's a pause as he turns the screen so I can see it too. I watch a few minutes of the show.

"Now, I'm bored," I say, "You wanna blow job?"

As soon as I said that I had wondered why I had said it? I mean, blow jobs are OK, but I only like doing them when I'm in LOVE-- or at least severe LIKE. Gaz is my pal. And although I do find fucking him enjoyable I dunno about the oral sex stuff. Could I have really been so bored that I wanted to go down on him? The last time I went down on him I ended up throwing up on his cock. Maybe I was trying to redeem myself?

Before I could change my mind, it was too late. Gaz had pulled his trousers down and had lowered his boxers to his knees. I did what was expected and took his cock into my mouth. His cock instantly stiffened. I moved my full lips up and down his cock. I teased the end of his dick with my tongue. He seemed to be really enjoying it.

"Stop!" he said suddenly.

I panicked. What was I doing wrong?

"You okay?" I asked.

"I want to fuck you now. Get up and turn over."

I lifted my head from off of cock. As I moved towards the end of the bed I clumsily kneed him very hard in the balls.

He let out a low moaning noise and grasped his balls. "What the fuck, Anjelika?"

"I'm sorry!"

"Jesus Christ. You really fucking got me."

"Does this mean I've killed the moment?"

"My fucking balls are killing me, what do you think?"

I got up off the bed and exited the room.

I felt angry at myself for being so clumsy. I felt angry at him for not wanting to continue. I felt angry because I was horny and had no outlet. So as expected I went in my room, climbed into the waterbed and used the vibrator until I came. Twice.

Question for the guys: Why is it so painful when you get hit down there?

How NOT to Ask Me Out - Part 4

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 01:20:00 +0000

FROM: m

TO: me@naivelondongirl.com

DATE: Fri, Mar 5, 2010 at 9:49 PM

SUBJECT: I'm fuck for free

I'M SO INTERESTED TO WHAT U HAVE
SAID AT U'RE PROFIRE BECAUSE I USED
TO FUCK FOR FREE WOMAN SO I
WANNA TO EXPERIENCE TONIGHT WITH
U LET MEKNOW NOW SO THAT WE CAN
HAVE FUN ALL 9T.
I'M REAALY WAIT U'RE ANSWER OR
CALL ME BY 075074849XX

As if I would go out with someone with such a poor command of English.

Take it on the Chin

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:12:00 +0000

I got my period a few days ago. Not that you needed to know that, but at the point I started dating my ex-boyfriend I started getting obsessed with my period.

Maybe this was because we weren't using birth control? I really wanted a baby with him. I know, you're probably all thinking, "Count your blessings that he didn't knock you up." But I loved him, dearly. At the time I could think of nothing better than to have a baby with him. Not that we ever tried. But we didn't stop it from happening. One thing that made the break-up with my ex so difficult was that I had to say goodbye to the idea that I was going to be a mum. I had to say goodbye to the notion that his DNA would make a baby inside me. This was incredibly hard and I still feel filled with regret.

So yeah, last year I been obsessing over my period; freaking out over the slightest changes: Too early, too late, spotting, not spotting, cramps, no cramps. I was looking for any sort of abonormality. But maybe it's the abnormalities that make me normal?

With my last period my harmones must have been fluctating quite wildly. All of a sudden I started getting these horrible zits on my chin. Big, stubborn, nasty spots. UGH, it was horrible. And yes I had acne as a teenager (and not nearly as bad as Belle de Jour), but I thought those days were gone. Recently I've been using the Jan Marini prodcut range and my skin had been flawless. Then these chin zits came out of nowhere and ruied my perfect complextion. There's nothing more embarrassing than going on a job interview with a huge zit on your chin! (Well, maybe going on a date with a cold sore is worse?)

What's worse is that I was never complacent to let the zits exist in peace. I have OCD and feel compelled to squeeze any zits I have. I blogged about this a few years ago.

I dunno, I guess I'm weird. I do get some sort of weird gratifcation of of watching zit-popping videos on YouTube. Have you ever seen this site: http://www.popthatzit.com/? It's great! Well, great in a really sick way.

Anyhow, I got really sick of these chin zits. No matter what I did they just wounldn't go away. Well, a couple would go away then a couple more would pop up. Finally, I said enough was enough and I decided to do something about it. And now the chin zits are gone!

So what did I do? Nothing really radical. I just washed my hands more.

Well, to go a bit more in depth, I figured that somehow there must have been lots of bacteria on my chin. Still not sure how it was getting there but I made the decision that I wasn't going to touch my face unless my hands were really clean. So I bought some antibacterial soap and started washing my hands a lot. Now I wash my hands in the morning before and after I shower, when I get to work, before lunch, after lunch before I go home, after I get home, after I touch the dog, and 3-4 times during the evening. I also bought a few packs of Superdrug Tea Tree cleansing wipes. I've been using them as facial wipes and they work really well. I also carry around anti-bacterial gel in my bag. And I wipe down my mouse and keyboard each day.

Lastly, every 3 days I use Clindamycin on my chin. Usually this is only available by perscrtion but I've been buying it from an online pharmacy. Clindamycin Phosphate Gel 20g - 1 Tube.

As I mentioned I got my period the other day. No chin zits this time! Seems to be working well so far. I am now happily working my way back to my picture-perfect complextion.

Masturbation, Birth Control and Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 01:36:00 +0000

In this podcast Wanda and I chat about: Masturbation - Rampant Rabbit, Wanda's back massager, School Trips, birth control, Is it better to be 32 and Never Married or 32 and divorced?

"If I was married my husband would be getting some good times."

"After he would eat me out and I would cum really, really hard, i would just fall asleep."

"I don't believe in birth control pills. Well-- I know that they exist!"

"I remember Canada as this horrendous place."

"Is it better to be 32 and divorced or 32 and never married?"

"I might want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro but I'm too busy looking for a husband."

"Is it better to be a Spinster or Divorcée?"

"I want kids because I want a mini Anjelika walking around."

Direct link to media MP3 [Click here]

Listen on Mevio [Click here]

Listen on iTunes [Click here]

Listen on Zune [Click here]

Subscribe to the Feed [Click here]

http://offers.mevio.com/show/naivelondongirl.html

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Gazza: Friend and Fuck Buddy

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:14:00 +0000

My pal and sometimes fuck buddy, Gary has been spending a lot of time sleeping in my spare room lately. He's here from America for a few weeks on a film shoot. His hotel is somewhere near Heathrow, but for the past 6 days the crew has been shooting in East London and Greenwich / Blackheath. Not being a fan of early starts (he has to be on set by 5 AM) he's been crashing at my place. The early-morning commute from Heathrow was killing him.

I met Gaz like 10 years ago in New York. I was friends with his girlfriend initially. I realized that I had more in common with him than his girlfriend. We slept together a few times while he was dating his girlfriend. He broke up with her eventually and went out with another girl. We slept together a few more times. He broke up with her and went out with another girl. We slept together a few more times. We even fucked on her bed. What can I say? I was crazy and in my twenties. No wonder my karma is shit now.

I remember once when I was 24. I was in Harlem getting my hair did. All of a sudden I had this urge to feel Gary's cock in me. I desperately wanted him to fuck me. I had never had feelings like this before! In fact I was sort of 'off' sex. It hat been OK, but not a big deal to me. Never in my life had I craved sex.

I started twitching in my seat. I called him on his cell and said that I HAD to see him. That it was an emergency-- an emergency shag. The only place he could meet me was his girlfriend's place-- she was in the Hamptons. I went over to his girlfriend's place- a nice one bedroom apartment her wealthy parents had bought for her.

As soon as we got in the door we rushed into the bedroom. He ate me out and fucked me hard on her bed.

While he was in the middle of fucking me his girlfriend called. Although that would have been enough to put most men off, Gary was able to finish... and finish well. His girlfriend left a message on the answering machine to say that she was on the Hampton Jitney returning to the city.

It was nearly identical to that scene in Sex and the City from the episode "Running with Scissors" where Natasha comes home early to find Carrie in her apartment. Luckily I made a hasty escape and Gary was able to get the sex smell out of her place before she came back.

I remember leaving her apartment on that hot summer day thinking, "That was a really good fuck. I'm still horny and I want some more!" It's ever since then that my libido has been insatiable. I sometimes wonder if that event had never happened if there would be a Naive London Girl? Perhaps not.

I've never felt any romantic feelings for him and as far as I can tell he never felt any for me either. What I felt for him was two things: Animal lust and friendship -- not always at the same time, that's the extent of my feelings for him. He's cool as shit. And really funny. He reminds me of Boricua Seth Rogen and Tracy Morgan combo -- if you can imagine such a mix.

And when we fuck we laugh and laugh and laugh. He's a pal and a good fuck buddy. Sex with him is always fun. We never "make love" we just fuck.

I can't ever see myself ending up with him. Maybe it's his lack of ambition in life? Maybe because he drinks a little too much? He's just my really good pal who on occasion I fuck. We don't ever plan to fuck, it more or less just happens. Sometimes we just hang out and watch TV.

I always get along with all of his girlfriends. None of them knew I was fucking him, but I'm always happy to see him happy in love with someone else.

He's the one I botched the blow job with -- yes I will get around to blogging about that eventually. And he's the one I lost my anal virginity to -- yes I'll be blogging about that soon too.

Anyhow, it's been nice having him stay here at the flat. It's like having a little bit of New York here in London with me. When he leaves, I'll be sad, but not heart broken. He's a good fuck, but he's no RTC or BFE.

Jobs are Like Buses...

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:49:00 +0000

Motherfucker. Jobs are like buses. None for ages and then you get 3 at once! Today I had job interview numbers 15, 16 and 17. 16 was a second interview. Anyhow, I nailed all 3 interviews. I turned down number 15 as it required me to move to Norwich. Number 16 hired me on the spot. I was so frazzled that I said yes. And then they said, "Can you start tomorrow?" And I said yes again.

In retrospect I really should have asked for a day to think about it. Jobs 15 & 17 were full-time permanent roles and job 16 is a contract role paying £300/day. The thing about the contract market is that it tends to move fast. If I had delayed on my decision they would have swiftly moved on to the next candidate.

I left job interview 16 feeling smug. I headed down to interview 17. Oh, there's nothing so smug as going into a job interview when you already nailed the interview before. Interview 17 was great! The job is exactly what I want to do - "Social Media Strategist." Twitter, Facebook and blogging all day AND I get paid for it??? Yes, please!

Can you believe I was actually able to use this blog here as a reference point to all my social media experience? No, I didn't have to show them the blog. I mean, I wouldn't want my potential employers to read, "My first anal" and "Botched Blow Jobs" and whatnot. In some ways I'm really proud of myself because I do this blog out of a labour of love and now I've been able to spin that into a job interview.

The social media job interview went really, really well. I sooooo want this position, but I already verbally agreed to job 16. I haven't signed any paperwork yet so legally, I'm in the clear. If I reneg on this deal, I will be blacklisted by the recruiter, who to his credit, has gotten me interviews with some really great companies.

I'm due to get some feedback about my interview with the social media dream job tomorrow morning. By that time, I would have already started work at Job 16.

I hate letting people down. I hate appearing to be flakey. Yes, I could always start work tomorrow and tell the recruiter that I don't think I'm cut out for that role-- and hope I get a formal offer from interview 17. My experience in Britain is that everything that has a financial transaction associated with it takes a long time. It seems to take at least 2 weeks to get a formal offer letter for a position. This is really different than in the States. Things in NYC tend to move faster.

So, what do you think I should do?

What should I do?

How NOT to Ask Me Out - Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:47:00 +0000

FROM: m
TO: me@naivelondongirl.com
DATE: Tue, Mar 2, 2010 at 1:13 PM
SUBJECT: RE: I NEED U FOR SEX

HI
Are u available today for sex let me know please! whait to hear from u!
Thanks
-------------------------
Dear M,

No.

Warm regards,
Anjelika

Facebook Deleted My Account, Again!

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 05:23:00 +0000

I had a feeling FaceBook was going to delete my account after two idiots started hassling me on there. They accused me of being a man masquerading as a woman. As if. They wanted me to prove to them that I was a woman by either showing them more pics of me or going out with them. Guys can be sooo immature!

To stop them from hassling me I deleted them as "friends" and blocked them from my account. 24-hours later my account was deleted. I'm sure they've reported me to FaceBook for inappropriate content or something.

Anyhow, the two idiots that were hassling me are:
Idiot Number 1
Idiot Number 2

Feel free to send them messages of love and kindness.

In any case, I have a new Facebook account. Send me a friend request if you want to stay in touch on there.

Even Celebs Go to Tesco

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:44:00 +0000

Whilst shopping at the Earl's Court Tesco I spotted this well-known British funny man.

Strangely enough, he had a Chinese man pushing his trolley for him while he was on the phone the whole time.

10 points if you can guess who it is.

Coming Soon: Botched Blow Jobs & My First Anal

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 02:09:00 +0000

It's been an exciting weekend. I am way to tired to blog about this now but here's an announcement: I lost my anal virginity!!!!

So I will be blogging about that soon. Also, I like really messed up a blow job a few days ago. Pretty embarrassing. Not sure if I should blog about that.

Anyhow, I must get my beauty sleep now. Interview #15 is tomorrow.

Nighty, night,
Anjelika

She's in Fashion

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 01:49:00 +0000

OK, so job interview 19 is this week at a very well known fashion house. It's so ironic that I should get an interview there because I'm SO not into fashion. Yes, I like to look good, but I don't really follow any particular label. I didn't even know who Alexander McQueen was until the news of his passing came along. And here's a secret, but there are some clothes in my closet that I bought from Sainsbury's! I like to think of myself as Carrie Bradshaw, but I certainly don't have her wardrobe!

I was told not to wear a suit to the interview. I panicked. What do I wear to an interview at a fashion house when I don't follow fashion? I knew I needed help from fashionista and celebrity stylist, Karena Sedwick.

Karena was kind enough to come over to my flat Sunday afternoon to style me. How exciting! I've had my make-up done for a few TV appearances, but I've never been styled before!

I was really fortunate that I had a lot of basics in my wardrobe. Karena asked if I had any black skirts. I went to my wardrobe and pulled out 9 black skirts. She then asked if I had a vest, which initially confused me because a vest is slightly different in American English than British English. Yes, I did have plenty of vests.

What was great about having Karena work with me was that she gave me fashion ideas and options I had never though about about. I had many of the essentials in my wardrobe already. She was able to pick out what exactly would look good on me and add accessories that made the outfit stand out.

My proud moment was when she said that one of my jackets looked, "very Chanel." For that one minute, I felt like a real fashionista!

I highly recommend Karena's services. Check out her website http://www.mynewbestfriends.co.uk/
She's über busy - she just finished curating Tunbridge Wells Fashion Week - but she should be able to squeeze a few of you in for appointments - karena@mynewbestfriends.co.uk

How NOT to Ask Me Out - Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 00:21:00 +0000

Conversation via FaceBook Chat between Anjelika Jinx and Village Idiot

11:25pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
dude ur a man
i rate u
for it

11:25pm
ANJELIKA
i'm not a guy

11:25pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
yh u r
if ur a girl can i come and have a session with you

11:25pm
ANJELIKA
why do you think i'm a guy
not a chance

11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
y nt

11:26pm
ANJELIKA
you haven't given me a good reason

11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
because im good at eating pussy

11:26pm
ANJELIKA
and i'm not interesting in fucking anyone from facebook

11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i live near docklands
so im close
is it a yes den

11:27pm
ANJELIKA
No, not at all interested at this point
I've done a blog post about this sort of thing
have a look at the post (i'll provide the link) and get back to me when you can

11:28pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
ok hw bout just lunch then
and ill be a perfect gentlement
wt do u say
is dat a yes

11:29pm
ANJELIKA
http://www.naivelondongirl.com/2010/02/cum-with-fat-wallet.html

11:30pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i just wanna go out
why is dat such a bad thing:S

11:31pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
?

11:32pm
ANJELIKA
Not interested

11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
why nt
its racial thing

11:32pm
ANJELIKA
I don't date guys from facebook

11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
but u wont be

11:32pm
ANJELIKA
You don't even have a profile pic
I don't know anything about you

11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i can say the same for u
and whos fault is dat den

11:32pm
ANJELIKA
I'm just not interested

11:33pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
das cause ur scared
hw bwt i come visit u then
canary wharf yh
u had anal sex with some next guy
so why not me

11:35pm
ANJELIKA
i'm not that hard up for sex

11:35pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
welll u blotched a bloyjob

11:35pm
ANJELIKA
I'm totally uninterested, and the more you ask, the more uninterested I am

11:36pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
ok
then
u got some issues man

11:36pm
ANJELIKA
I have issues, because I don't want to have sex with you?
There are a lot of guys I don't want to have sex with. You just happen to be one of them.

11:37pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
no u have issues a guy is just tryna get to know some1 in person wts the crime in dat

11:37pm
ANJELIKA
I don't want to meet for sex, coffee or lunch. That doesn't mean that I'm a guy parading as a chick

11:38pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
no ididnt mean u were

11:38pm
ANJELIKA
There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone - but I've just gone through a break up and I don't want to meet someone new now -- That's my prerogative

11:38pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i mean am a guy tryna get to know u in person wts the crime in that
but i just wanna be a mate
wts wrong wit htha

11:39pm
ANJELIKA
Listen, matey, I'm not interested. Maybe somewhere down the line but not now -- please be aware that you are severely decreasing your chances by constantly asking me

11:40pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
well i apologise for interrogating you i hope we can keep up to date in freindsand i apologise and i hope u accept my humble apology i guess every1 has had a bad day

11:41pm
ANJELIKA
Thank you

Oh my God, where do I even begin?

First of all, this village idiot guy doesn't have a profile pic. Now before you criticize me for not having a proper profile pic keep in mind these two things. 1. At least i do have some sort of pic, yes it's of my boobs. but at least it is something. And 2. I have a SEX BLOG and I'm trying to remain somewhat anonymous. The last thing I want is to get the beat down from the wives of the husbands I slept with -What is Village Idiot's excuse? I gather that either he's too unattractive or too lazy to put a pic up. Either way, I'm not interested.

When a girl says she's not interested, trust me, she's NOT interested. I probably should have signed off and blocked him, but I was trying to be diplomatic.

Third, when I told him that I was not interested in meeting him, he accused ME of having a problem. That is really childish behavior. It reminds me of my days in NYC when a few brothers would try to chat me up. When I would indicate that I was uninterested their attitude changed. They became defensive. They would respond, "You ain't all that good looking anyway!" Nice attitude, idiot.

Fourth, I am not so HARD UP for sex that I'm gonna meet mr Village Idiot. whose pic is sight unseen.

If men knew the kind of shit women go through online maybe they'd be a bit kinder.

So, what is the right way to chat me up?
I got a very long, well-written (no typeos or txt spk) e-mail from a guy who reads my blog. He introduced himself, told me about the things he likes and doesn't like. He even shared some of his experience of being an expat in London. From his e-mail I could see that we have a lot in common. I would really love to post the letter as an example of how to ask me out, but I don't want to invade his privacy.

Anyhow, a question for the ladies: Have you ever been hassled by a guy on the internet?

My Big Cock Dream

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:21:00 +0000

"I simply cannot resist a huge cock like this!"

This is what when through my mind as I was laying on a bed naked with lots of other guys. All the guys were asleep. Most of the guys were gay, I think. There were some straight ones there, but since they were asleep I couldn't tell who was gay and who was straight. I'm not sure how I ended up on a gigantic bed, naked. I was the only woman there. I wasn't even freaked out or anything. Everyone was asleep. I tried getting back to sleep but I couldn't.

It just so happened that the guy to my left was asleep and had a very large stiff dick. I decided to climb on top of him and impale myself. I angled his big white cock into my pussy and began moving myself up and down on his cock.

It felt amazing. I humped him faster and faster as it became evident that I was soon going to cum. I couldn't believe that I was orgasming through vaginal intercourse. That NEVER happens. I finally came, but I couldn't scream out -- I didn't want to wake the others. Amazing that even in my dreams I'm considerate.

I lifted myself off him. My cunt was a stick mess. I didn't even bother looking at the guy's face. It didn't matter whether he was good looking or not. He hadn't even woken up. Was he one of the gay ones? Does impaling myself on him while he's sleep constitute rape?

Lots of questions went through my head. I went back to my original spot and fell asleep

</dream>

Photos Courtesy of Huge White Dick .com

Gang Bangs And Gender Identity

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 00:01:00 +0000

Wanda and Anjelika chat about: Gang Bangs and Gender Identity, Deaf Wanda, Coffee and Cake, Job search, St Elseware, 3 Gay men you would shag, Beg list, Valium

"We didn't call it a gang bang. We just called it a lot of students getting together."

"I don't want to fuck Anthony Hopkins, what can I say?"

"If I had a gang bang and it was all white people my mother would be like, 'you couldn't fuck at least one black guy?'"

"As a teenager I couldn't think of anything worse than having boobs."

"Getting groped by blokes is fantastic."

"I'd do the Dalai Lama, would you? I wonder how big his cock is?"

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Single black women being urged to date outside race

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:49:00 +0000

There's an interesting article in the Washington Post

So many black women are single, she says, because they are stuck in the groove of a one-track song: sitting alone, waiting for that one "good" black man to come along and sweep them off their feet.

Waiting. Talking to girlfriends. Waiting. Going out alone. Waiting. Going to work. Waiting. Waiting for a "good" black man, with the same education level to marry them. Waiting. Even when they know the odds are stacked against them.

Single black women with college degrees outnumber single black men with college degrees almost 3 to 1 in major urban areas such as Washington, according to a 2008 population survey by the U.S. Census Bureau. Given those numbers, any economist would advise them to start looking elsewhere.

Read the rest of the article here.

What do you think?

I Taste Like Pee

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:29:00 +0000

Gary, my American friend and sometimes fuck buddy came over today. He had the day off work and being that I'm unemployed he makes the ideal friend to hang out with. We were both haning out watching TV.

I was wearing a T-shirt and no panties while sitting on the sofa. I'm so comfortable with Gaz that nudity is never a big deal. The real reason I was wearing no panties was because I was waiting for my bathing suit to dry. I planned on having a swim at the Reebok Gym later that evening. As soon as my bathing suit was dry I had planned on putting it on. I don't want you to get the idea that I just hang around in my living room with no knickers.

Gaz drank about 4-5 beers and was pretty drunk by dinner time. I was surfing the web with my laptop, replying to a few recruiters about potential job interviews.

"You know, I'm not wearing any panties," I randomly said to Gaz.

"Oh, I didn't notice," he said nonchalantly, "Wanna fuck?"

Before I could answer he drunkenly lunged towards me.

"Gary, I'm not in the mood," I said in a half-hearted attempt to push him off me.

He then buried his head in my pussy and began licking. It didn't feel good. It didn't feel bad either. I just felt really distracted by the TV and the e-mails I was sending. I just wasn't in the mood to get eaten out.

"You're always in the mood."

"I'm not now," I said starting to feel annoyed.

He kept licking my pussy. Suddenly he stopped.

"You taste like pee."

"That's because I peed five minutes ago."

"You didn't wipe well enough."

"I'm about to go to the gym. Who cares? I'm going to shower before I get into the pool anyhow. And besides who expects to get eaten out while the news is on?"

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition,"

"Exactly. I'm not in the mood. I hope I smell like really bad day old pee so you'll stop."

"I'm not going to stop," he challenged as he continued licking my pussy.

I sighed, "Will you get off me. I need to get to the gym."

Bored of the Vibrator

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:01:00 +0000

OK, I am now officially bored of my vibrator!

Yesterday morning I was laying in the bed alone-- well sort of alone, the dog was the foot of the bed -- and I was feeling horny.

I masturbate in the morning for a few different reason. Some times I'm super horny and just need to cum badly. Sometimes I masturbate because I'm bored. And then there are some days that I masturbate in the mornings because I am so thoroughly tired only the jolt of my Wahl vibrator can wake me up. Sometimes cumming hard is my ONLY motivation to get out of bed.

So yesterday I was in bed alone I reached for my vibrator and realized that I was SO BORED with it. I am so used to using that vibrator that I had to work really hard to get the fantasy right in order for me to cum. I actually fantasized that one of my twitter followers was fucking me bareback.

So either a new a new vibrator or a new fuck buddy. What should I go for?

Pounding the Pavement

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:28:00 +0000

I've been on the job hunt for the past 2 weeks since being let go from my previous contract for being "too introverted." I can't even say that phrase without rolling my eyes!

In retrospect, I think the real reason I was let go was because I was too expensive for them. I was getting paid, pro rata around £55K, which really isn't that much. I mean I was practically on benefits with that sort of money -- joking! To a large company £55K is a drop in the bucket. To a small company £55k is a small fortune. I think that they had a second look at their books and that I was an expense they couldn't handle.

Had I worked miracles instantly, they would have probably found a way to justify my existence. But since I couldn't fix the mess that their company was in within my first 3 weeks I was put on the chopping block. Anyhow I am waaay better off without them.

I have had 9 interviews over the past 2 weeks. Strangely it's the two interviews I showed up late for that have called me back for second interviews. (Perhaps they want to see if I can make it there on time?)

For the record, I was late to one of the interviews because some bozo pulled the emergency cord on the Jubilee Line and delayed the train by 15 minutes. Thanks idiot. I would have taken your photo and posted it on here if you were in the same car as me.

I was late for the other interview because an interview I had scheduled previously had run way long. The guy interviewing me had missed his train and wasn't there when I arrived. I waited a half hour for him to show up. Consequently, the interview ran long thus making me late for my next interview. I'm not very good at making delicate exits. So I sat there in that interview furtively checking the clock trying to figure out a way of saying, "Sorry, I have to go now." But I wimped out and just sat there knowing that I would be late to my next interview. I suck.

The seven interviews I arrived early / on time for haven't asked me for a second interview.

So the moral of the story is: It doesn't pay to be early.

Or perhaps the moral of the story is, arrive late, overcompensate in your interview and the job is yours.

Or maybe the moral of the story is, job hunting just sucks.

Marketing Ploy?

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:43:00 +0000

I felt bad for the owner of this car,

until I saw this car.

Which is worse, the ticket or the paint job?

Sex at Oxbridge

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:20:00 +0000

I've just been reading the Sex at Oxbridge sex blog. It's interesting, in the way that most sex blogs are interesting. Soft core, vanilla yet and somewhat tantalizing. I really don't understand the big deal about it.

I mean, is it REALLY surprising that college students like sex? Is it REALLY surprising that you can be a well-educated woman who likes orgasms? Or was it just a slow news day for the Evening Standard?

Get with it you Brits. Raunchy sex is for more than the Jeremy Kyle crowd.

Weird Observations from the Girls' Locker Room

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:51:00 +0000

Yesterday was Masochist Sunday. Not only did I subject myself to going to Ikea alone - and you all know how much I loathe Ikea [see: There are No Single People in Ikea ] but I also decided to go to the gym.

Ikea was as hellish as I had imagined it to be. Couples with screaming kids. Happy, smug couples looking to decorate their love nest. Annoying mums pushing their way through the Ikea cafeteria -- which has got to be the worst food ever. Mark my words: Swedish food will never catch on like Italian or French food.

One thing I find particularly frustrating is that there are few things that I can actually fit into my 2-seater car. Had I realized how often I'd be going to Ikea in my life I would have bought a bigger car. But such is life. I can't turn the clock back to 3 years ago.

After Ikea I dropped the dog off at the flat -- yes I took my dog to Ikea. She patiently waited in the car. Then I drove to the Reebok Gym. Yes, it was a pitifully short ride but since I was getting exercise anyhow I figured it didn't matter.

My experience at the gym was interesting. Usually I'm so focused on my work out that I don't really notice people around me. Maybe because I haven't been to the gym in a while I was observing lots of weird things.

I saw a girl, half asian, half white checking out her butt in the mirror for a ridiculously long time. She was staring at her butt when I arrived in the locker room. I worked out for a half hour came back to the locker room and she was in the same position still starting at her butt.

When I was in the sauna I saw a tanned woman with the most perfect tits. They were round, and just the right size. I couldn't take my eyes off them. Luckily she had a towel over her head so she didn't see me looking at her.

I saw a think black woman whose tits were 3 shades lighter than her face.

I saw a near anorexic white woman drinking diet Dr. Pepper in the locker room. First of all, Dr. Pepper is nasty. Diet Dr. Pepper is worse. But shouldn't you be drinking water in the locker room? Just a thought.

And lastly, while I was showering, I looked over to the shower across from my and saw a woman fingering her vagina in a not very discrete way.

Not that any of that matters, but it just felt like an a-typical day at the gym.

Cold Sore Conundrum and Breaking "The Rules"

noreply@blogger.com (Naive London Girl) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 11:02:00 +0000

Last night I went out with a guy, Russell, who had initially asked me out nearly a year ago. I met Russell on an online dating site. Initially we were due to go out last year, but then he was called out of town for work.

I find that these sort of flakey excuses happen frequently in the online dating world. I assumed it was code for, "I really don't want to go out with you." Russell assured me, however, that he really did want to go out with me and that his last-minute travel was not an excuse.

He spent 6 weeks in the Mediterranean. I think he works in the shipping business, but I'm not really sure what he does. When he returned to the UK I was already ensconced in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend, RTC.

Friday morning I got a text from Russell. He asked me how the relationship was going. I told him it was over. He then asked I wanted to go out with him for a drink on Saturday. I said yes.

Now, The Rules say "Never accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday." Is this a drastic error? I just wanted to go out and it not be a big deal. Do any girls here follow The Rules?

So last night Russell and I met up for drinks. Surprisingly, he looked better in person than he did in his profile picture. It's the opposite for most guys. How they look in their profile pic is usually the best they've ever looked. Viewing them in person normally leads to some disappointment.

Russell looked great except for a cold sore he had on his lip. I could tell he was slightly embarrassed by this, but I didn't want to bring it up.

I've never had a cold sore. I don't know much about them. All I know is that I didn't want that thing near my lips. Are cold sores contagious? I think they are, right?

After drinks we went to a 5 star Chinese restaurant. The meal was great. The conversation that Russell and I had was great. I just really seemed to get along with him. The sad thing was that I actually had a great time with Russell and I wanted to give him a good night kiss but with that cold sore I just couldn't.

So we had a really awkward moment at the end of the night. I gave him a peck on the cheek and scurried off. I guess it wasn't the best way to handle it but I did not want to go anywhere near that monster on his lip. Couldn't he have waited until it cleared up to ask me out?

What do you think?